Ugh! Insurance...

So there are a lot of things that weigh on my shoulders. A lot of the day. Every single day. It's the thing that happens, when you become the one responsible for everything. Being a caregiver, is much more than taking physical care of a person. It's more than making sure the person you are caring for is fed, bathed, and safe.

There are all the other things. When my Mom was hospitalized in September, there was a ton of paperwork to be done. Her medical background. Getting all her care and treatments organized. You start on things like medical paperwork. Which usually means Living Wills, a regular Will, course of treatment, insurance, Power of Attorney, Estate Planning, DNR...

You are all of a sudden, having those tough talks. My Dad didn't want to deal with any of this stuff, when he got sick. He signed some papers, when the nurses and social workers talked to him. Just them and my Dad. And that was that. My Mom and I know, how important it is, to get this crap in order. So important!

In fact, I think I'm way ahead of my parents. When I was 20, I did all this stuff. Sure, I was working in a hospital. And it was required of me. But I still got it in order. I have a signed DNR. My will is in order. Every I is dotted, every T is crossed. And I update my paperwork, every single year!

But now, it was time for my Mom. And time to get insurance. The thing she had been looking into for a while. Trying to find something that worked. Something that didn't break the bank. And something that she could easily roll, into the insurance that she really wants. The same one, my Dad had. She's not eligible until early next year. Ugh!

During the last two months, we've hit many roadblocks. It's frustrating as crap. How in the world, do you set up legal documents with no problems...but have all these issues with insurance. It's beyond frustrating. She's not old enough for this. Too sick for that. Needs A 100% diagnosis for this one. Can't afford $2000 a month. Makes $50 too much for that. Needs to be working for this one. Oh, yeah there is a waiting period of 6 months for that one too.

Call after call, I get more frustrated. I want to hit a wall. Scream! Whatever. We've been to so many offices. Talked to more people, than I can remember. In fact, I was pretty frustrated last Friday. Watching all these families qualify for assistance. Because they are illegally here. And have children. By no means, am I putting them down. But it's frustrating to see someone like my Mom, who has worked her entire life...not get help. But these people with 5 and 6 kids, not working, getting everything under the sun.

Then I thought, I can go back to work full time. I was on a part time schedule for years. While I cared for my Dad. After his passing, I wasn't ready to jump head first into it again. 120 hours, in that stress...is tough. But in the Summer, I started to get my toes wet again. Would go in for a shift or two. Working 48 hours a week. Whatever they needed.

So maybe I could go back. Then I could add my Mom, to my insurance. I can't, while I'm part-time. But that wouldn't work. She can't be left alone. Can't do much by herself. And if I did go back to work, we'd need to hire a full time nurse. Which after looking into it, with a few friends from work...didn't make any sense at all. Not financially. Not with her care. Not for my career.

Back to square one, I went. There are a few more options left. Not many. But my fingers and toes are crossed. We can pay a HUGE fee, until February or March. Maybe even May...to get insurance. We can continue to pay out of pocket. Or we can just wait. To me, that last one, is not an option.

But that's kind of the way, things are going. Right at this minute. Obama Care, is for the birds! Because maybe legally, insurance companies can't deny you insurance. But in real life situations, it's still happening. Some say, it's because of reasons A, B, or C. Maybe all three. And other companies are so high, that you could NEVER afford to have insurance. Having a major health issue, is just not working out...

I know how expensive my Mom's care is looking. Just from this side. Even if she had my Dad's insurance. If you add to that, and insurance bill of even $1000 a month...we're in deep trouble! So I'll keep making calls. Digging around. Hoping, against all odds...that I find something. Sometimes I wonder, if being an American citizen...in America, doesn't work against you. I'm not lying. It's the truth. I'm so proud to be a citizen. Natural born. Hard working. Positive member of society. But really, what does a lifetime of hard work get you? 🐦

A Normal Day

Our new "normal," is quite different from what it used to be. My Mom was an early riser. Every single day! For my entire life, my Mom got up early. Usually she was up by 4:30-5:00AM. These days, it's more like 10:30-11:00AM. And it's more than OK.

When she does get up, it's usually a couple of hours...before she'll eat. And it's not the normal stuff either. I noticed this, even back in the Spring. When she was still getting up early. I can make eggs, potatoes, pancakes, French toast, cinnamon rolls...and she'll just pick at the food. The once HUGE fan of cereal, hasn't eaten it in weeks. So we go more for a "grazing type of meal." Maybe it's a small muffin. And a glass of juice. Nothing too big. Or heavy. Or anything like that. Definitely not coffee. Or even water. It all makes her sick.

In the mornings, while she sleeps...I have my "quiet time." I pray, read the bible, organize my day. There is usually some watching of Home and Family. Plenty of crocheting. Checking on patients. Getting plans in order. Calling doctors. And insurance companies. Anything that seems quiet. Even our pups know, that the quiet is necessary.

Once my Mom, is up and going...it stays pretty slow. There is usually the noontime news to watch. Maybe some Chew. Definitely some General Hospital. And then the marathon of Hallmark Movies begin. It's the beginning of November. And I'm pretty sure, we've already seen some of these movies 2 or 3 times. Maybe I'm the one that has seen them multiple times. Because I'll watch them, in the middle of the night too. Great way to get distracted, while folding laundry.

During these movies, my Mom usually naps. She was NEVER a nap taker. These days, it's required. There is also plenty of crocheting going on. Because what else, do you do with your day? She makes projects. I make projects. There are orders to be filled. And Craft Fairs to prepare for. There is ALWAYS something to be made!

As afternoon, is slowly fading into the early evening...there is also Ellen. She's been a staple in our lives, since my Dad was sick. It's the one hour a day, that my Mom can laugh. I see the smile on her face. And in her eyes. It's the one hour, when she can forget about her troubles. I'm so thankful for Ellen!

Evenings are usually pretty quiet too. I make something to eat. It's hit and miss, whether my Mom wants to eat. There's usually news to be watched. And an evening of some sort of TV, waiting on us. Dancing with the Stars, Tiny House Nation, Counting On, Grey's Anatomy, The Goldbergs. More crocheting. Our pups usually get active around this time. Running and playing. Wanting to be active. And fun! More crocheting for my Mom and I. And she's usually in bed by 8PM.

Our schedule rarely differs from this. The dogs and I, will stay up. Usually past midnight. When I get to work on some other things. Like blogging. Paying bills. Getting things in order. Doing laundry. Cleaning the bathroom, kitchen, or whatever else I can find...on that side of the house.

This is far, from what our schedule once looked like. My Mom was an active person. Liked to work, to be busy. She enjoyed her kiddos. Liked getting out and about. Loved being active. We'd cook meals together, clean the yard, garden, take the pups on walks, go to various community events, etc. My Mom just LOVED being busy.

These days, it's about survival. Wake up. Be in pain. Eat. Get nauseous. Watch a little TV. Take a nap. Crochet. Have a little more pain. Head to bed. Crazy how fast life changes. But it's just what happens. And you have to roll with the punches. I learned that. 🐦

And Here We Go...

So we ended up, in the ER. For the second time. In less than 2 months. I know what's wrong with my Mom. But not many else know. And she's not ready to tell.

The difference today, is she finally told her sisters. Prior to this, my Mom had only told a few friends, at the Growers' Market. I sent a text to my sister. And I talked with my uncle. He knew the truth. And Thank God, he's kept my secret. Oh, my aunt and uncle also pretty much know.

But it's what we're doing. Right now. My aunts are clearly in shock. And I'm pretty sure, so are my Mom and I. Given any day, we wake up...and don't immediately realize it. Then it slams into you, like a ton of bricks.

Until my Mom is ready, the only thing I can tell you, is that she has fractured vertebrae. Is in so much pain, it makes me sick to my stomach. And on any given day, I think it just hurts her to be awake. Oh, and she sleeps much of the day away. Her body is just going through so much right now.

I know my Mom is sick. She's in pain. And there are serious things wrong. More than she wants me to know. Probably more than she wants to admit. But that's life. And I think for her, it's what helps her get through her day. Because it is a tough thing to swallow.

But here we are. And I think I need to start being real with our family. More present. And I need an outlet. So this, is where I'll keep everyone updated. As things move forward, you can read them here. A similar outlet, to what I had for my Dad. But this time, it's probably going to be a little more real.

Oh, and in case you're wondering. We're in the ER. Probably will head home in the next few hours. My Mom is feeling significantly better. But nowhere near, where she should be feeling. So prayers are always welcome! 🐦